False Lashes! Girl is that a pigeon on your eyes?

In the words of Martin Lawrence: 

WAZZUP, WAZZUP, WAZUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!

Hope you are having a great day!

I have a comedic rant just to stir up something or to get you laughing, wherever you ladies are. Before I start, I just want to say I am not trying to offend anyone in anyway. Just sharing my random thoughts, and use my sense of  humor to make light of things. Sometimes we need a good laugh once in awhile to get our minds off of situations we might be going through.

Now let's begin!
I have been noticing that now a days most women are into wearing false lashes more than the God awful lace fronts. Even the commercials display the need for us to get some falsies or to achieve the look of full thick lashes.  Now we know good and well that the women in the Cover Girl, L'oreal and Rimmel commercials are all wearing fake lashes. Am I right?

Source: Makeuponmymind.blogspot.com

" Have I been bamboozled? I thought that I would look like her, dang it MAYBELLINE! I put like 20 coats of your bat poop and I aint got that (singing) MAYBE ITS MAYBELLINE effect. All I end up getting is (singing)  MAYBE IT'S MAYBENOT!

Yes, purchasing those products to some folks might work, but who knows!. Maybe they already have thick long lashes and once the mascara is applied KAZAAAAAAAM they got big beautiful, full lashes.

Solange Knowles Rimmel London
Source: thefrisky.com

Our little girls are wearing falsies before their training bras. For real? Yup,  and its not just on Halloween. There was one time at church, I saw one of my youths wearing some. That girl was batting or blinking her eyes so much I thought if we look in our hymnals that song would be rephrased just for her. Are you familiar with the tune " I'll fly away" you can sing it with me  it's " Sheeeeee's gonna fly away oh glory, she's gonna fly away. Those things on her eyes, oh my goodness that girl gone fly, oh lawdy she done fly  awaaaaaaay!" lol.

Who would do this to their baby? SMH
Source: infosoupfashion.blogspot.com

My goodness, I could not believe it. When church was done she came up to me to greet me. She said " Hey sister Lyn, how you doing?" I said "I'm fine, girl I'm fine !" and I couldn't help but ask. " Girl, where did you get those pigeons?" She was laughing and said " What are you talking about?" Batting her eyes even more. A gust of wind brushed my face each time she blinked.

She knew what I was talking about. ( I'm straight up with the youth in my church ). " It's lashes sister Lyn, lashes ! " I responded " I know what they are, why are you wearing it?" and she replied saying " I like them, they cute !" Mind you this girl is like 14 yrs old, she doesn't need any of that stuff. Not yet.

Man, these young bucks need to slow down and stop trying to be grown. Yeah it looked nice but it was taking away from her real beauty and made her appear older than what she is. She is still a child and I am gonna be quite honest I don't think girls around that age and younger need to be wearing that. Have you seen toddlers and tiaras? **crickets-eyes blinking**SMH *** crickets** (sorry couldn't find sound effects)

Source: photo from afeatheradrift.wordpress.com
dogcanyon.org

Source: Inevitablemedia.wordpress.com
They turn out to be the worst adults. This is sad!

As for our adult women, I feel that some go way over board with it or just don't know how to apply them. If you want them to look a little more realistic, get the individual ones not the thick ones that look like the janitors broom. Nawh man, we all know that the castor oil did not grow them overnight! Who are you trying to fool? You do not want to be looking like that drowsy elephant on sesame street:what's its name, yes  SNUFFALUFFAGUS! lol!!!!!

Source: Muppet wikia

Another sad thing is women who want to follow trends and want to get the real deal lashes which are fox fur or orangutan ( IDK I heard about the fox fur lashes though). Please if you can't financially, afford to keep current don't try the foul disguise out, by getting a Remy or Fremy Serbian or Indian weave and glue it on. That is a crime, a violation or whatever. Its just wrong. Keep the weave on the head not on the eyes, it wasn't manufactured for that. Come on now! RAAAAAAATID!

Source: Shefinds.com

Source: Heatherfink.blogspot.com

Lastly, I merely suggest that some of the ladies tone it down and let the peacocks, pigeons and  turkeys keep their  spot light or showcase their wings. They want to fly. I mean shine too. I am not knocking anyone who wear lashes or anything like that. Lashes are okay to wear,  just make sure that:

1. They are professionally or self installed correctly
(Go for individual lashes. They look more natural)

2. Go with your gut feeling, if they don't feel right or don't look right. Either take them off or fix it.

3. Don't you dare ask your frenemy or angry friend if they look lopsided they are most likely gonna tell you they look good.

4. If the lashes are super thick DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT try to maximize them  with 15 coats of mascara. We will assume you are sleepy or you are just resting your eyes, cause your eyes look closed all the time. I mean I saw movements but I thought you were fighting in your sleep.

I hope I didn't miss anything, If I did please do share !

I guess I will leave you all with this

HAVE A BLESSED and VICTORIOUS DAY!