Naturelle Me... The Couples Session

Love is truly an amazing feeling. Especially when you have someone to share it with. I mean, who doesn't love falling or being in love? Better yet, seeing the existence of love between two people or within humanity.  

Love. It's the greatest gift that God has ever given to us all ( 1 Corinthians 13:13 ). It can mend a broken heart ( Psalm 147:3), cast out fear ( 1 John 4:18 ) cover our wrongs ( Proverbs 10:12 ), it simply never fails ( Psalms 13:8 ). Yet the best and most beautiful thing love can do (when we walk in it) is bind everything into a perfect union. And so it has with this months featured engaged couple: 

Josh -N- Gloria

Image by: Lyn of Naturelle Me...

The love birds took a stroll at Harbor Park in Philly, where we had an impromptu photo session and interview:

Before we started our interview, we took a quick photo with the couple and the sibling in-laws.

How did you both meet and how long have you guys been together?
Josh: We met during a volunteer event during college for the black student union. I introduced myself and she politely welcomed my greeting. We've been together for two years and seven months.

Were there any thoughts in your mind about these encounters, by that I mean each time you both met did you wonder if this person is the one or if this is Gods' way of confirming that he/she is your saved mate? 

Josh: We met at the volunteer event but didn't get closer until later after college.  I would see her in the hallway and we'd briefly say "what's up!".  I was so busy and focused in college that I didn't have time or thought seriously about relationships. Yet in all honesty, every now and then I thought about the first time we met at the volunteer event. And over time I kept thinking about that beautiful girl I met back then and what she was up to.

As a Christian couple what were your views on dating and what have you discovered about the difference between courtship and just dating? 

Josh: I kind of thought courtship and dating were the same thing. But Gloria just schooled me on the difference. Courting is dating with intent to marry. And dating is just...well not intending to marry. So I guess from the very beginning I was never into dating but more so courting because I take the relationship seriously enough not to do things to hinder growth towards marriage.

During the course of your relationship how did you manage and overcome challenges, disagreements, social time with each other and friends? 

Josh: It wasn't easy. We had our battles. We have cried; yelled; argued; stopped talking to each other and all that. However, what has gotten us thru is that neither of us are afraid to be completely honest or admit that we were wrong. We always promise to talk things out and not hold it in. I remember telling Gloria since the beginning, that we have to be honest with each other. Always, and we've built on that. It's allowed a freedom from the regular constraints of being too afraid to talk about anything even if it is painful. We've become stronger because of the underlying honesty. And we are becoming better and talking and compromising every day. There's some instances where we still don't like the things each other do on certain issues but we've gotten better at not trying to control each other but let each other know what we can do differently too compromise for each other's sake. Another key part is not being afraid as a guy to say how you feel. Let your woman know your heart brothas and that will gain her trust in you and grow your trust in her to build better love.

What changes did you realize that you had to make as a single and then as a couple? 

Josh: That I have to share every plate of food no matter how much I want it all too myself lol.

What qualities did you see in Josh that made you realize that "He's a keeper!"?

Gloria: When I realized that he truly loved me for me. Not because of my looks or what he could get from me but because he genuinely loved Gloria. He was compassionate, always willing to give out a helping hand. He was trustworthy.  He was the ultimate gentleman, always opening doors for me and offering his food,Lol. When I was going through a difficult time in my life, he was always there to console me or just to be a listening ear. I felt really comfortable with him and that spoke volumes.

What is the key to maintaining a strong relationship and how do you always keep it new? 

Josh: Date night. It's a must. Also, learn to enjoy each other's presence even if it's just watching TV. Engaging each other in deep talks. Looking up different things to do and invite each other to various events. Get to know each other's friends and family, as that opens up more dynamics to interactions outside of the relationship just between the couple.As they go they can learn to socialize together and feel out the likes and dislikes.

How important is it to wait and not settle for just any kind of man or woman?

Josh: Well the bible says to abstain. Growing up in a Christian household, it was how I was taught. However, this society makes it hard. I remember seeing and hearing some pretty sexual rumors back in middle and high school. In the hall ways I remember seeing people make out that were just for lack of better words "tacky" at best. Nonetheless to answer the question, it's very important to wait as a guy. You learn to develop relationships with the opposite sex in a healthier way. I think because I waited I was able to approach Gloria with a kind of respect that was appreciated.

Image by: Naturelle Me...

From a males perspective would you say its okay for a woman to approach a man or for the guy to approach the woman? How do you think guys feel about women making the first move of asking them out? ( You can apply biblical principles or simply state your opinion) 

Josh: I think it depends on the guy. Some guys are shy and wait for the girls to initiate the first conversation. Personally, I wanted to make first contact as I think men should be manly and woo the lady with charm.Guess my plan worked. Lol!

As you matured in your walk with Christ, how has your faith in God helped you in the time of your singleness up until your relationship? 

Josh: It taught me to be patient. When I was single I wasn't ashamed. I just figured He had someone in store for me eventually and I should just wait patiently and let things happen naturally. No pun intended.

Gloria: Because I knew God knew the desires of my heart. He knew I wanted to be in a relationship and that I wanted to be married. So I started praying about the future man that I would like to be in a relationship with. I read somewhere that you have to be specific about what you want from God. So I prayed and told God specifically what characteristics I would like in my man. And through my singleness I tried to focus on improving my relationship with God instead of focusing on trying to get into a relationship.

Any tips or advice you would like to share with other men who are waiting and seeking their soul mate? 

Josh: Yeah, don't try to be a stereotype. If you have a skill in art don't be afraid to show it. Be yourself. It's okay to let the woman know your feelings. Don't get caught in the game of looking cool and having control. A relationship about control never works, only causes rebellion. On both sides. Enjoy the girl you're with for who she really is and make her feel comfortable around you to be herself. Treat her with respect like a sister whatever and she will give the same respect in return. The bible speaks to the fact that the man guides the relationship mood with how he treats the woman and the woman reflects how she is treated back to the man. In other words it's take two to tango.

Gloria:I would say definitely pray about it and tell God exactly what you want. While God is working on it for you Do YOU in the meantime. Learn about yourself, try/do different things. Then your soulmate will come when you least expect it. I know it sounds cliche, but it's the truth. That's exactly how it happened for me.

Image by: Naturelle Me...

What are your thoughts about women approaching men, is it a sign of desperation or a major no-no?

Gloria: I don't think it's a sign of desperation if a woman approached a man. However, I do think we should let the man do the chasing and we just sit pretty and let them come to us. (Smiles)Seriously, God set up for the man to find the good thing for a reason. I think you can drop hints to show a man you're interested, but let him come to you.

Photo by: Naturelle Me... 

Submission is believed to be a term some women despise because it sounds like you have to "obey your man and do as you're told" Biblically both men and women who are married must submit to each other, however how would you apply this term. Thoughts on "submission" and your role as a woman of God?

Gloria: I don't have a problem with submission. God told us to be submissive for a reason. It allows the man to lead properly as God intended. However, growing up as the first of six children I was the leader so learning how to step back and let my man lead will take some prayer and getting use to lol.

Describe your hair journey and when were you inspired to go natural before meeting Josh?

Gloria: I've worn my hair relaxed since I was a very young girl. So I was no stranger to the creamy crack. I wore weaves, wigs, braids and any other hairstyle you could think of.

In 2012, I was tired of the weaves and relaxers and around that time a lot of people were going natural. I wanted to try something new and I just decided I'm going to go natural. So I stopped perming my hair and began my transition. After about 5 months I just woke up one day and was like "I want to cut off all my relaxed ends!". So I big chopped that night and never looked back since then. After I saw my short natural hair I felt liberated, for a little while. Then self doubt started to kick in when family members began asking me why I cut my hair or say "you don't look right". Of course I shrugged them off, but it did sting. Now 2 years later, my hair has grown substantially. Yet, I still haven't found my holy grail products and most days I am frustrated because a style doesn't come out as expected. To be honest, I do think about going back to the creamy crack. Maybe I will. But for right now I'm trying to enjoy the journey for what it is. A journey!

What was your reaction to the changes Gloria made with her hair? Were you a fan of team natural or did you mind seeing Gloria in extensions? 

Josh: Personally, and don't edit this out, I think black woman look friggin beautiful with natural hair, better than using all those weaves.team natural here.

Were there moments when you were afraid to wear your real hair around Josh?

Gloria: Absolutely! When I first big chopped he never saw my hair in its natural state. I wore wigs a lot because I was afraid to rock my TWA. And when he would come over to my house I made sure I had a scarf or hat covering my head. Even though he told me that I was beautiful no matter what and that he will love my hair the way it is, I didn't believe him. It's a funny story how he finally did see my hair. One day, I decided to get some Senegalese braids and while I was in the shop I told him to bring me something to eat. I completely forgot that my hair was out. When he walked in the shop, I immediately remembered and tried to cover my head. But to no avail(chuckles)Josh saw it and the first thing he said was "Can I touch it?". I laughed and said sure. He touched it and said "it feels like cotton". I laughed some more. Then finally, he said he loved it and that's when I stopped being scared to rock my natural hair around him.

Define love in your own words.

Josh: Love can be defined biblically from the book of Corinthians. Constant, forgiving, pure, understanding.  It's accepting that person's flaws and little imperfections. And trusting them to love you despite your imperfections.

Gloria: Love is truly unconditional. I think 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 describes love way better than I could.

CONGRATS to Josh and Gloria on their engagement. They make such a beautiful couple. May the Lord bless their relationship, their union and growth on their journey together as one. My sincerest thanks for their participation and sharing with us!

Thanks for stopping by !